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Top Jokes of the Day
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings on display.
"Well, I have good news and bad news," the owner responded. "The good news is a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would, and he bought all 10 paintings."
"That’s wonderful," exclaimed the artist. "What’s the bad news?"
"The gentleman was your doctor."
“Could you learn to love me?” asked the young man.
“Well,” sighed the young lady, “I did learn shorthand in three months.”
Then and Now Concerns for the Baby Boom Generation:
Then: Long hair.
Now: Longing for hair.
Then: Acid rock.
Now: Acid reflux.
Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint.
Now: Getting a new hip joint.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes.
Where can you buy soup in bulk? The stock market.
What do you call a magician that loses his magic? Ian.
How do poets say hello? "Haven’t we metaphor?"