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Jokes

12 Nov 25

Here’s a mega-fresh batch of 100+ clean, hilarious jokes for November 12, 2025 — perfect for late-night laughs after today’s wild news! Categories: Delhi Blast, Red Fort, Pollution, Bihar Elections, U.S. Shutdown, Travel (ASAP Roast), Tech, Freelancer, Dad Jokes, News-Inspired, and more. Let’s dive in! 😄

Delhi Red Fort Blast Jokes (Dark Humor Alert)

  1. Why did the car near Red Fort explode? It couldn’t handle parking fees.
  2. What did the NIA say to the Hyundai i20? “You’re blown out of proportion.”
  3. Why was the blast so dramatic? It wanted a grand entry at Lal Quila.
  4. What’s the new Metro rule? No baggage — emotional or explosive.
  5. Why did the bomber fail driving school? He kept accelerating the plot.
  6. What did PM Modi say to survivors? “You’re tougher than the blast.”
  7. Why don’t terrorists use Uber? Too much tracking.
  8. What’s the blast’s favorite song? Boom Boom Pow.
  9. Why was the car nervous? It had too much gas.
  10. What did the debris say? “I’m scattered but still here.”

Delhi-NCR Pollution Jokes

  1. Why is Delhi’s AQI single? It’s too toxic for love.
  2. What did Bawana say to Wazirpur? “Hold my smog.”
  3. Why don’t kids play outside in Delhi? The air is graded severe+.
  4. What’s Delhi’s new cologne? Eau de GRAP-3.
  5. Why did the mask apply for a job? It wanted to filter out the bad air.
  6. What’s a Delhiite’s superpower? Breathing haze like a pro.
  7. Why don’t clouds visit Delhi? They’re already here.
  8. What did the lung say to the nose? “You’re blocked again!”
  9. Why is hybrid school trending? Kids need clean air to learn.
  10. What’s pollution’s favorite game? Hide and Sneeze.

Bihar Elections & Exit Polls Jokes

  1. Why did Tejashwi bring a broom to the poll? To sweep the NDA.
  2. What’s an EVM’s bedtime story? “Once upon a 67% turnout…”
  3. Why don’t Bihar voters trust exit polls? They’re fake news with charts.
  4. What did NDA say to RJD? “We’re counting on you to lose.”
  5. Why is Bihar voting so loud? Even the bullocks are campaigning.
  6. What’s a politician’s favorite snack? Vote-er chips.
  7. Why did the voter bring Aadhaar? The card said, “I’m not enough.”
  8. What’s exit poll’s favorite movie? The Prediction.
  9. Why don’t candidates sleep? They’re polling in dreams.
  10. What did the ballot say? “I’m sealed with a kiss.”

U.S. Shutdown Ends Jokes

  1. Why did the U.S. government go to therapy? 43 days of shutdown drama.
  2. What did the Senate say after the vote? “We’re funded and fabulous!”
  3. Why was the shutdown single? It couldn’t agree on a date.
  4. What’s Trump’s pen name? Bill Signer.
  5. Why don’t federal workers play hide and seek? They were already missing paychecks.
  6. What did SNAP benefits say? “Finally, food for thought.”
  7. Why did the court close? It needed a shutdown nap.
  8. What’s the longest shutdown’s memoir called? 43 Days of Drama.
  9. Why don’t politicians diet? They love pork barrel.
  10. What did the bill say to Congress? “Pass me or I’ll expire.”

Travel & ASAP Tickets Roast (Consultant Edition)

  1. Why don’t ASAP agents use real names? Their real identity is “Markup Man.”
  2. What’s ASAP’s office address? 404 US Location Not Found.
  3. Why did the consultant cry? The client booked direct and saved $200.
  4. What’s fare locking? A promise you’ll pay more later.
  5. Why don’t airlines hire ASAP? They prefer honest margins.
  6. What did the add-on say? “I’m optional… but you’ll buy me.”
  7. Why is ASAP training intense? You learn to lie with a smile.
  8. What’s an ASAP quote? Airline price + secret tax + guilt trip.
  9. Why don’t clients return? They woke up after the first rip-off.
  10. Pro Tip: Book direct — your wallet will thank you.

Tech Jokes (Midnight Coder Vibes)

  1. Why did the developer stay up? Debugging tomorrow’s bug today.
  2. What’s a coder’s lullaby? “Hush little loop, don’t throw an error…”
  3. Why don’t bugs sleep? They’re live in production.
  4. What did the API say at midnight? “You’re rate-limited to dreams.”
  5. Why is Python tired? Too many indents in life.
  6. What’s a hacker’s bedtime snack? Cookies & cache.
  7. Why did the laptop yawn? It was overclocked all day.
  8. What’s JavaScript’s dream? Finally committing.
  9. Why don’t databases dream? They’re always on duty.
  10. What did Git say? “Push it to tomorrow.”

Freelancer Jokes (Late-Night Hustle)

  1. Why do freelancers love midnight? No sunlight tax.
  2. What’s a freelancer’s alarm? Client: “Urgent revision!”
  3. Why did the freelancer bring tea? To brew invoices.
  4. What’s a freelancer’s favorite key? Ctrl + S (save sanity).
  5. Why don’t clients pay at night? They’re on dreamer’s time.
  6. What did the invoice whisper? “Still pending…”
  7. Why do freelancers love owls? Same work hours.
  8. What’s a freelancer’s diet? Coffee, code, and coping.
  9. Why stare at the moon? It’s the only non-revising client.
  10. How do freelancers celebrate? One paid gig = one biryani.

Dad Jokes (Groan & Grin)

  1. I told my wife Delhi air is bad. She said, “Open a window!”
  2. Why don’t eggs vote? They’d get scrambled.
  3. What do you call fake pasta? An impasta — like fake US addresses.
  4. Why don’t skeletons fly? No guts for turbulence.
  5. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. Can’t put it down — like AQI alerts.
  6. What’s a sleepy dino? A stega-snore-us.
  7. Why don’t calendars date? Too many commitments.
  8. What’s a foot’s favorite snack? Corn on the cob.
  9. Why did the scarecrow win? Outstanding in his field — unlike some leaders.
  10. I used to hate beards… then they grew on me.

News-Inspired Jokes (Nov 12, 2025)

  1. Why did the Gujarat factory explode? It was boiler-ing with anger.
  2. What did Surendra Koli say after release? “19 years? Time served.”
  3. Why is Hajj quota happy? 175,025 seats booked!
  4. What did the Maoist mom say? “Come home — surrender the gun.”
  5. Why did Sensex rise 595 points? It heard shutdown ended.
  6. What’s Dhruv Jurel’s new role? Opener — not just in cricket.
  7. Why don’t blind cricketers need lights? They play by feel.
  8. What did Musetti say to De Minaur? “Game, set, Turin!”
  9. Why is Antarctica melting? It’s too hot for ice.
  10. What’s UAE’s drill motto? “No photos, just practice.”

Random & Silly Jokes

  1. Why don’t ghosts use Gmail? Too many transparent emails.
  2. What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear.
  3. Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing — and the smog.
  4. How do you catch a squirrel? Act nuts — works on bad clients.
  5. What’s orange and mimics a parrot? A carrot.
  6. Why don’t oysters share? They’re shellfish.
  7. What’s a roaming nun? A roamin’ Catholic.
  8. Why did the bike collapse? Two-tired from pollution.
  9. What’s stolen cheese called? Nacho cheese.
  10. Why don’t atoms trust anyone? They make up everything.

Bonus: Midnight One-Liners

  1. I’m not lazy — I’m in energy-saving mode.
  2. My bed remembers everything I forgot to invoice.
  3. I asked Wi-Fi for space. Now it’s offline.
  4. Sleep = time machine to tomorrow’s chaos.
  5. I don’t snore — I’m a human motorcycle.

Final 10 (For the Night Owls)

  1. Why don’t clocks work in space? No gravity to tick.
  2. What’s a vampire’s fruit? Blood orange.
  3. Why did the phone meditate? To find inner signal.
  4. What’s a plane magician? A flying sorcerer.
  5. Why don’t melons marry? They cantaloupe.
  6. What did one wall say? “Meet at the corner.”
  7. Why was the music teacher jailed? Too many sharps.
  8. What’s a computer’s dance? Algo-rhythm.
  9. Why don’t crabs give? They’re shellfish.
  10. Last one: I’m not asleep… just buffering life.

Want more in a category? Darker, Delhi-specific, or full ASAP roast? Say the word! 😄 Good night (or keep laughing)! 🌙