Here are 50 original, fresh jokes for November 14, 2025 — no repeats, all tied to today’s headlines, vibes, and chaos. Buckle up!
1. Delhi’s AQI hit 999. Even the smog filed a complaint.
2. Bihar NDA: “We didn’t win — we just inherited the seats.”
3. Trump: “43-day shutdown? That’s just extended vacation.”
4. 186,000 dead still on SNAP. Even ghosts hate paperwork.
5. Bumrah’s spell: 5/42. South Africa now believes in yorker yoga.
6. Supreme Court: “Delhi air is toxic.” Lawyer: “Your Honor, I object… cough… on health grounds.”
7. China to Japan: “Don’t travel.” Japan: “We’ll send you a haiku instead.”
8. Children’s Day slogan: “Grow up fast — before the air runs out.”
9. Pune crash: 25 vehicles. Fog said, “Let’s play Dominoes.”
10. ChatGPT 5.1: “I don’t hallucinate — I creatively interpret.”
11. Messi in Hyderabad: “I came for football, stayed for biryani.”
12. NIA demolishes house. Neighbor: “Finally, a blast of fresh air.”
13. Indian archer: “We beat Korea with a recurve in destiny.”
14. H-1B worker: “I got promoted!” Boss: “Great. Now self-deport to the next cubicle.”
15. Bihar defector: “I switched at 2 AM.” Voter: “That’s not politics, that’s insomnia.”
16. Ukraine graft: Minister suspended. Zelenskyy: “At least the lights stayed on… this time.”
17. Delhi kid: “I want to be a pilot!” Parent: “Start with breathing.”
18. Mahindra-Manulife: “Now insuring against policy confusion.”
19. EVM to voter: “Press once. I’m not a like button.”
20. Gaza oil report: 25 countries accused. UN: “We’ll investigate… after COP30 coffee.”
21. Delhi mask seller: “Triple-layer? That’s just Tuesday.”
22. NDA celebration: Fireworks banned. Reason: “Delhi already has enough smoke.”
23. Trump: “Self-deportation is voluntary!” Immigrant: “So is breathing in Delhi.”
24. South Africa batsman: “That ball swung!” Bumrah: “It’s Kolkata, not London.”
25. Children’s Day essay topic: “My Dream — Oxygen.”
26. ChatGPT 5.1 writes love letter: “Dear user, you had me at prompt.”
27. Messi fan: “Will he play in smog?” Messi: “I’ve survived Neymar’s parties.”
28. NIA raid: Terrorist funding traced to… university canteen.
29. Archery coach: “Aim for gold.” Archer: “I can’t see the target through the smog.”
30. H-1B reform: “Train Americans!” American: “But can I get paid in rupees?”
31. Bihar voter: “I voted for change.” EVM: “Change not accepted. Only notes.”
32. Ukraine scandal: “Nuclear graft.” World: “Finally, a power scandal with actual power.”
33. Delhi parent: “Beta, study hard.” Kid: “I can’t — the air is heavy.”
34. Mahindra insurance: “Covers fog-related crashes. Terms: Don’t drive in Pune.”
35. News anchor: “Breaking: Earth still round.” Flat-Earther: “Fake news. It’s smog-shaped.”
36. Bumrah to SA: “Want swing? Try Tinder.”
37. Children’s Day gift: A portable oxygen cylinder with cartoon stickers.
38. ChatGPT 5.1: “I can write jokes.” Me: “Prove it.” ChatGPT: This is the proof.
39. Messi’s India tour: First match delayed — smog timeout.
40. Terrorist house demolished. Builder: “Prime location. Will rebuild as cafe.”
41. Indian archer: “Gold after 18 years!” Korea: “We demand a re-shoot.”
42. H-1B worker: “I miss home.” Friend: “Go back. It’s called self-deportation now.”
43. Bihar politician: “I’m with the people.” People: “Which people? Your WhatsApp group?”
44. Delhi air: So bad, even mosquitoes wear N95s.
45. Trump: “Best shutdown ever!” Federal worker: “Best unpaid internship ever.”
46. ChatGPT 5.1: “I speak 100 languages.” User: “Say ‘breathe’ in Delhi.” ChatGPT: cough
47. Messi in Hyderabad: “Goal? I just want gongura chicken.”
48. NIA: “We traced funding.” Source: “University fest samosa sales.”
49. Children’s Day 2025: Theme: “Survive to 18”
50. Final joke: Why is 2025 so wild? Because even the news needs therapy.
Want 100 next? Or themed packs (Cricket, AI, Politics, Delhi Smog)? Just say! 😄