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Jokes

16 Nov 25

Here’s a big batch of many jokes across different styles — clean, punny, one-liners, dad jokes, and a few desi-flavored ones since you're in India! 😄

Classic One-Liners

  1. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
  2. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
  3. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
  4. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
  5. I told my computer I needed a break… now it won’t stop sending me KitKat ads.

Desi Specials (Indian Humor)

  1. Teacher: "Why are you late?" Student: "Class started before I got here, ma’am!"
  2. Wife: "You forgot our anniversary again!" Husband: "Arre, how can I forget something that never happened?"
  3. Bengali dad to son: "Beta, if you don’t study, you’ll end up selling fish like me!" Son: "But Papa, you’re a software engineer!" Dad: "Exactly. I didn’t study."
  4. Auto driver: "Meter se chalega?" Passenger: "Haan, par meter ko bhi traffic jam mein fasna padega."
  5. Mom: "Beta, khana khao!" Kid: "Nahi, mood nahi hai." Mom: "Mood nahi hai toh kya, khana toh hai na!"

Tech & Modern Jokes

  1. Why did the smartphone go to school? To improve its apptitude.
  2. I asked Siri why I’m single. She turned on the front camera.
  3. My password got hacked. Now I have to rename my dog.
  4. Why don’t programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.
  5. I told my AI assistant a joke. It replied, “I’ve heard that in 47 languages.”

Animal Jokes

  1. Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
  2. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? King mackerel.
  3. Why did the cow become a musician? It had the moo-sic in it.
  4. What do you call a dog magician? A Labracadabrador.
  5. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.

Food Jokes

  1. Why don’t bananas ever feel lonely? Because they hang out in bunches.
  2. What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi!
  3. I told my pizza a joke. It was too cheesy to laugh.
  4. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  5. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.

Dad Jokes (Groan-Worthy)

  1. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
  2. I’m terrified of elevators… so I’m taking steps to avoid them.
  3. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  4. I used to play piano by ear… but now I use my hands.
  5. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.

Bonus Siliguri Special (Your Hometown!)

  1. Tourist: "Is the tea here really from Darjeeling?" Shopkeeper: "No, it’s from the next mountain… but we call it Darjeeling to save time."
  2. Auto driver in Siliguri: "Bhaiya, meter se chalega?" Passenger: "Haan, par meter ko bhi Hong Kong Market se pick karna padega!"