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Jokes

17 Nov 25

Here's a brand-new MASSIVE jokes for you, clean, and super-funny jokes specially for you on this November 17 night! All desi-friendly, zero offense, maximum laughter guaranteed!

Desi Dad Jokes (20)

  1. Wife: Tum mere pehle kitni girlfriends thi? Husband: Sirf tum hi thi… baaki sab practice thi!
  2. Teacher: Bachcho, batao oxygen ki khoj kisne ki? Student: Sir, humne hi ki thi… warna saans kaise lete?
  3. Biwi: Tumhe meri yaad aati hai? Pati: Haan, jab bhi bill aata hai!
  4. Indian parents ka favorite exercise: Remote se channel badalna.
  5. Girlfriend: Agar main chand pe chali gayi toh? Boyfriend: Toh main roju roju full moon dekh ke khush reh jaunga!
  6. Mom: Beta doctor ban ja! Beta: Nahi mummy, main toh engineer banunga! Mom: Achha? Toh phir ghar ka fuse kyun nahi theek kar sakta?
  7. Shaadi ke baad pati-patni ka favorite game: "Main bol nahi raha tha!"
  8. Indian roads ka GPS voice: "Seedhe jao… thodi der baad regret karoge."
  9. Uncle: Beta, bade hoke kya banoge? Beta: YouTuber! Uncle: Bahut scope hai… like, share aur subscribe kar dena!
  10. Wife: Aaj dinner mein kya banau? Husband: Jo dil kare! Wife: Toh phir biryani? Husband: Nahi, jo dil kare wohi banao!

11–20 (quick fire): 11. Santa: Yaar maine apni biwi ko "Darling" bolna shuru kiya. Banta: Phir? Santa: Ab woh bolti hai "Haan bol, kitne paise chahiye?"

  1. Indian parents don’t say “Go to your room,” they say “Jaa apne marks dekh!”
  2. Girlfriend: Tum mere liye chand taare tod laoge? Boyfriend: Haan! GF: Sach mein? BF: Haan, Amazon se order kar dunga.
  3. Mom: Beta, phone kitna % hai? Beta: 1% Mom: Toh charging laga do! Beta: Nahi mummy, meri zindagi ka 1% bacha hai!
  4. Every Indian kid’s horror movie: “Beta report card dikhao.”
  5. Wife: Tumhe mujhse zyada cricket pasand hai? Husband: Nahi yaar… commentary pasand hai!
  6. Indian Wi-Fi name ideas:
    • "Airtel_5G_Free"
    • "Jio Ka Signal Nahi Hai"
    • "Password Hai Maa Se Pucho"
  7. Teacher: Tum bade hoke kya karoge? Student: TikTok videos! Teacher: Woh toh ban ho gaya! Student: Toh phir Instagram reels!
  8. Pati: Aaj khana bahut achha bana hai! Biwi: Sach mein? Pati: Haan, bahar ka order kar lete hain celebrate karne!
  9. Indian time zones:
    • IST = Indian Stretchable Time
    • 10 minute = 1 hour confirmed

Tech & Freelancer Special (25)

  1. Client: Yeh design thoda modern bana do. Freelancer: Kitna modern? Client: Itna modern ki main khud na samajh saku!
  2. Freelancer’s life cycle: Excited → Deadline → Panic → All-nighter → “Sir, 5 minute mein send karta hoon” → Done!
  3. Client at 11:59 PM: “Bhai ek chhota sa change hai…” Freelancer: starts crying in 4K
  4. Upwork proposal: “I can start right now and deliver in 2 hours” Translation: “I will start after 3 days and blame Canva crash.”
  5. Designer: Sir, final file bhej diya. Client: Achha, ek baat aur… font thoda change kar dena. Designer: uninstalls life

6–25 (quick ones): 6. Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs. 7. Client: Can you make it pop? Designer: adds comic sans and 17 drop shadows 8. “Revision 47: Can we go back to the first version?” 9. Indian client payment status: Seen → Typing… → Last seen 3 months ago 10. Freelancer’s favorite yoga pose: Downward facing deadline 11. “Urgent” in client language = “I forgot 3 weeks ago” 12. Designer’s diet: Coffee, tears, and 3 AM Maggi 13. Client: Budget is tight. Freelancer: Kitna tight? Client: Hugging level tight. 14. “Can you make the logo bigger?” → logo becomes entire website 15. Figma ka full form: Finally I Give up, Going to cry 16. “Just one small change” = 14 hours of work 17. Client’s favorite color: “Something different” 18. “Send me the source file” = goodbye royalty 19. Freelancer’s morning routine: Open laptop → cry → coffee → cry again 20. Payment received notification = orgasm for freelancers

Random Fresh Ones (75 more!)

  1. Why don’t South Indians play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when your mom shouts “OYE IDLI KHANA HAI KYA!”
  2. Girlfriend: I need space. Boyfriend: Toh Mars pe chalein? Elon Musk ko bolta hoon!
  3. Every Indian wedding DJ after 12 AM: “Ek aur… ek aur… bas yeh last hai!” (repeats 47 times)
  4. Dentist: Open wide. Me: Haa… main single hoon.
  5. Why did the tomato turn red at the vegetable party? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  6. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.
  7. Aunties at wedding: “Beta, shaadi kab karoge?” Me: “Jab aap log band bajana band kar doge!”
  8. When you like someone’s Instagram story just to remind them you exist.
  9. Life status: Loading… ████████████ 99% (stuck since 2018)
  10. When mom says “2 minute mein aana” but it’s been 47 years.