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Jokes

20 Nov 25

Here’s a fresh batch of 100+ clean, desi-flavored, groan-worthy jokes just for you! Categories included so you can jump to your mood 😂

Classic Dad Jokes

  1. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
  2. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
  3. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
  4. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up.
  5. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

Desi Specials

  1. Wife: Tumhare baal kyun jhad rahe hain? Husband: Tension ki wajah se. Wife: To phir mere baal kyun nahi jhadte? Husband: Tension to main leta hoon na!
  2. Indian parents’ favorite exercise? Jumping to conclusions.
  3. GF: Baby, am I pretty or ugly? BF: Both. GF: Matlab? BF: Pretty ugly.
  4. Teacher: Who knows the chemical formula for water? Pappu: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O Teacher: What?! Pappu: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
  5. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing… and the chutney blushing!

Freelancer Life

  1. Client: Can you make it pop? Me (a designer): Adds Comic Sans and lens flare Client: PERFECT.
  2. Freelancer’s cardio = running after unpaid invoices.
  3. Client: We need it by tomorrow. Me: It’s 11:59 PM. Client: Exactly, you have a full day!
  4. “Revise until the client remembers what he actually wanted.”
  5. Upwork profile: 5-star rating, still eating Maggi for dinner.

Tech & Programmer Jokes

  1. Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.
  2. There are 10 types of people: those who understand binary and those who don’t.
  3. My code doesn’t have bugs… it just develops random features.
  4. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that’s a hardware problem.
  5. I told my boss the software will be ready “soon.” He stopped asking after 3 years.

Travel Agent Struggles

  1. Client: I want the cheapest ticket to Paris. Me: Done, ₹45,000. Client: Google is showing ₹38,000! Me: Then book from Google bhaiya, it also serves croissants.
  2. Customer: Do you have flights that serve Jain food? Me: Yes, but the plane doesn’t pluck onions mid-air, sir.
  3. “Sir, layover in Doha is only 14 hours.” Customer: Can I get a hotel? Me: Yes, it’s called the airport bench.
  4. Client: Send me to a place where there’s no network. Me: Done, booking you on Air India domestic.
  5. Customer: I want a window seat but don’t want to sit near the window.

Marriage & Family

  1. Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown child who can’t cook.
  2. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
  3. Shaadi ke baad biwi ka favorite button: MUTE.
  4. Indian mom’s Wi-Fi password: “PadhaiKarLo2025”
  5. Husband after 10 years of marriage: Still trying to find the “Any Key” on the remote.

Random One-Liners

  1. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
  2. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.
  3. If I won ₹100 crore, I’d still use a ₹10 pen.
  4. Common sense is like deodorant — those who need it most never use it.
  5. I don’t need anger management. People just need to stop making me angry.