Jokes

Here are a bunch of fresh jokes for you – short, silly, and ready to make you groan or giggle:

1. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
2. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
3. I asked my dog what's two minus two. He said nothing.
4. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
5. I bought a boat because it was for sail.
6. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up.
7. I told my computer I needed a break and now it won't stop sending me KitKat ads.
8. Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.
9. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
10. My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
11. Why don’t programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.
12. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
13. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
14. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
15. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
16. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
17. I’m terrified of negative numbers. I’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
18. Why don't oysters donate to charity? Because they're shellfish.
19. I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.
20. Parallel lines have so much in common… It’s a shame they’ll never meet.