Today's Top Jokes
I’m writing a book in fifth person… So every sentence starts out with: “I heard from this guy who told somebody…”
The crumbling, old church needed repair. The preacher appeals for donations. The town’s richest man stands up and pledges ₹1,000. A chunk of plaster falls on him, so he raises it to ₹5,000. Another falls—he doubles it. Then a big chunk lands on his head. He yells, “₹20,000!” A deacon shouts, “Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again!”
Why are mountains so funny? Because they are hill areas!
How do fleas travel from place to place? By itch-hiking.
Increase the donation: Church repairs and plaster jokes above.
How did the bishop make holy water? He boiled the hell out of it.
What room has no walls? A mushroom.
Why do birds fly south in September? It’s faster than walking.
Quick Laughs
What did the Dalmatian say after lunch? That hit the spot!.
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
When does a joke become a “dad joke?” When the punchline is apparent.
What happens when strawberries cross the road? Traffic jam.