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Jokes

25 Sep 25

Tech Jokes

  1. Why did the computer go to therapy? It had an identity crisis after being asked if it was human one too many times.
  2. Why don’t programmers prefer dark mode? Because the light attracts bugs.
  3. What do you call a dinosaur that crashes servers? A Digital Raptor.
  4. Why was the AI bad at stand-up? It kept overanalyzing the punchline.
  5. How do tech companies stay cool? They use advanced chip cooling, like Corintis!

Business Jokes

  1. Why did the stock market blush? It overheard traders talking about their hot margins.
  2. Why don’t CEOs use Zoom? They’re afraid of any situation where someone can mute them.
  3. What did the startup say to the investor? "I’ve got a lot of potential—and a pitch deck to prove it!"
  4. Why was the spreadsheet embarrassed at the board meeting? It had too many exposed cells.
  5. How do you know a business deal is shady? When it’s sealed with a handshake emoji.

Sports Jokes

  1. Why did the soccer ball go to therapy? It was tired of being kicked around by Dembélé!
  2. Why can’t basketball players go on vacation? Because they’d get called for traveling.
  3. What’s a cricket ball’s favorite dance? The bouncer—India’s team nailed it in the Asia Cup!
  4. Why did the football go to school? To become a quarterback with a degree.
  5. How do runners stay motivated? They just keep chasing that personal best high.

Science Jokes

  1. Why did the photon refuse to check luggage? It travels light.
  2. What did Mars say to Perseverance? "Stop digging into my past, I’m rocky enough!"
  3. Why don’t chemists trust atoms? They might bond with someone else.
  4. What’s a scientist’s favorite snack? Methane munchies—two-thirds come from microbes!
  5. Why was the telescope embarrassed? It caught a glimpse of a star’s private orbit.

Health Jokes

  1. Why did the mango join a health study? It wanted to prove it’s sweet for diabetes control!
  2. Why don’t germs go to therapy? They’re too busy spreading their feelings.
  3. What did the doctor say to the long COVID patient? "Let’s take it one symptom at a time."
  4. Why did the brain go to therapy? It was overwhelmed by a billion people’s mental health crises.
  5. How do you cheer up a sick cell? Tell it to divide and conquer!

Entertainment Jokes

  1. Why did Kimmel’s show get 6.2 million viewers? Everyone wanted to see if he’d roast Trump’s lawsuit!
  2. Why don’t Netflix shows ever get lost? They’re always streaming in the right direction.
  3. What did the movie say to the sequel? "You’re just a rerun of my plot!"
  4. Why was the script embarrassed? It had too many cliché lines in front of Brett Goldstein.
  5. How do you know a TV show’s a hit? When it’s trending on X before the credits roll.

World News Jokes

  1. Why did the Syrian minister visit D.C.? To see if diplomacy comes with a World Bank discount.
  2. What did the Gaza flotilla say to the navy? "We’re just here for the humanitarian encore!"
  3. Why don’t drones respect borders? They think Polish airspace is just a fly-through zone.
  4. What’s a politician’s favorite game? Blame-the-other-side, Trump edition.
  5. Why did the UN blush at Trump’s speech? He called it a “globalist flop” on live TV!

General Dad Jokes

  1. Why don’t eggs tell secrets? They’d crack under pressure.
  2. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
  3. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
  4. What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone.
  5. Why did the scarecrow become a motivational speaker? He was outstanding in his field.