News-Inspired Jokes
Why was the government shutdown meeting so tense? Everyone was afraid of getting furloughed into a bad joke!
What did the UN say to child marriage? "You’re not invited to our General Assembly anymore!"
Why did Comey’s indictment shock the newsroom? It was a plot twist even M. Night Shyamalan couldn’t script!
How do Sudanese militias dodge the ICC? They claim they’re just militia-n around!
India-Specific Jokes
Why did Sonam Wangchuk’s protest get so much attention? It was the coolest climate rally in Ladakh!
What’s the Tejas jet’s favorite pickup line? "I’m Mach 1.6 and ready to soar into your heart!"
Why did the cricket ball cheer for India? It knew the Asia Cup final was a bouncer away!
Why don’t Mumbai trains run during the mega block? They’re taking a 15-day snooze on the rails!
What did the UP Trade Show say to PM Modi? "Thanks for the grand opening, now let’s export some laughs!"
Tech Jokes
Why did the server go to therapy? It was overwhelmed by all the traffic from Amazon’s Prime settlement!
Why don’t programmers date? They’re too busy debugging their love algorithms.
What’s an AI’s favorite game? Hide and compute—it always finds you!
Why did the iPhone Air blush at Apple’s event? It overheard talk of its sleek curves.
How do you know a computer’s stressed? It keeps crashing during a byte-sized panic attack.
Business Jokes
Why did the stock market throw a party? It heard GDP growth was 3.2% lit today!
What’s a CEO’s worst nightmare? A Zoom call where the mute button actually works.
Why did CoreWeave sign with OpenAI? They wanted to be the coolest cloud in AI town!
How do you spot a shady deal? It’s sealed with a wink and a tariff.
Why did Blackstone list Ancestry.com? To find its corporate family tree a new home!
Sports Jokes
Why did Sinner deny Federer’s claim? He didn’t want to be served a controversy!
What’s a cricket ball’s worst fear? Being hit for a six in India’s Asia Cup final!
Why did the wrestler join the Asian Games? To pin down a gold for India!
How do footballs stay motivated? They keep rolling toward the goal line.
Why was the tennis racket embarrassed? It got caught stringing along the crowd!
Health Jokes
Why did the mango join a diabetes study? It wanted to be the sweetest health hero!
What’s a germ’s favorite pickup line? "Let’s go viral together!"
Why did long COVID go to school? To learn how to linger less!
How do you cheer up a tired brain? Tell it the WHO’s got a $3 plan to save a trillion!
Why don’t doctors trust Tylenol rumors? They know autism’s causes are more complex than a pill!
General Dad Jokes
Why did the scarecrow become a life coach? He was outstanding at giving advice!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato hopping nowhere fast!
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing in a steamy situation!
What’s a skeleton’s favorite song? “Bad to the Bone” on repeat!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack under the pressure!
Why did the math book cry? It had too many problems to solve!
What’s a cat’s favorite dessert? A purr-fect bowl of cream!
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was too tired to stand up!
What do you call a bear with no socks? Barefoot and cuddly!
Why don’t clocks ever get lost? They always tick in the right direction!